An Introduction

Hello, I'm Annie.

I'm a graphic artist, a writer, and a transsexual. It's that last part that I'll mostly be talking about here.

I've known since childhood that there was something different about me, and over the years it became clear what the problem was: I had been born with the wrong plumbing. Despite my wishes and feelings, testosterone had its way with me; as puberty set in, I became more and more male in appearance. Inside however, I was still a girl.

Every day I would wake up hoping that when I looked in the mirror, I would see my true self; that the big mistake would somehow have corrected itself. It never happened.

Of course, to the rest of the world I was a guy, with all the expectations that go along with that. I soon learned that failing to live up to those expectations of attitude and behavior would cause me to be hated and vilified, and even punished. I was a quick study; in no time, I became very good at pretending to be someone I wasn't.

Eventually, though, I came to a point at which I couldn't go on. Living the lie was destroying me inside; I could never become really close to anyone, and looking in the mirror each day was torture. I had only two choices: watch myself die, or take steps to become the same person on the outside as I was on the inside.

That point came not quite a year ago. I researched what could be done, and how to go about doing it. I began counseling with a transgender therapist. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy (it's funny; HRT usually means replacing the hormones that are lost when a woman reaches menopause, but in the case of a transsexual, it means replacing testosterone with estrogen and progesterone!).

Laser therapy is getting rid of my facial hair. I never had any body hair to speak of; God bless genetics. I'm re-training my voice; this may be the most difficult part of the whole transition. I have begun obtaining documentation in my new name, a long process, with the legal name change still being several months away.

At this point, I am female everywhere except at work; in Florida, there are no legal prohibitions against employment or housing discrimination against the transgendered. If my employers don't like it, they can fire me on the spot, so I am hiding it as long as possible. I really need the job and the insurance. At the rate my body is changing from the HRT, I probably won't be able to hide it much longer, though!

I suppose I've rambled long enough for this first post; I'll be back as events (and my thoughts) warrant.