It's Not About Sex
This post was originally made on my Yahoo blog on March 22; I've added it here in the interest of keeping all my TS related writing in one place.
"Being transsexual is not about sex."
People hear this and are simply unable to understand how it can be so. If you want to change your sex, then it's about sex, right? Well, no.
(Note: this is written from the point of view of a male-to-female transsexual. I believe that the situation is similar for the female-to-male TS, but I can only speak from my own experience.)
A widespread though long-discredited theory states that transsexuals are gay men who want to be able to have sex with other men without the stigma of being gay. Looking at this closely, it's easy to see why it's wrong. Let's take it one step at a time.
First, even if it was true at one time (which it wasn't), today the stigma of being gay is much less than it was years ago. Gay people are now accepted by a large part of society; indeed, if popular culture is any sort of indicator, it's the hip thing to be! Transsexuality has a much greater stigma; while discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal in many areas, acceptance of discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression is still widespread.
Second, there are probably just as many transsexual women who are attracted to women as there are those who are attracted to men. They want to be women, yet are only attracted to other women; by definition, this means that they want to transition from being straight men to being lesbian women! Doesn't sound like they're trying to avoid any stigma. Or trying to attract men!
Third, if the point of transsexuality is sex, does it make any sense to put yourself in a position which inherently limits the number of potential partners?. Gay men for the most part have no interest in transsexual women; they like men! And most lesbian women aren't interested in transsexuals either. Most straight men are uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with a woman who used to be a man (tranny chasers notwithstanding), and straight women are not generally interested in someone with a vagina, or a penis rendered largely ineffective by hormones.
Obviously the need to transition is stronger than considerations of sex; we transition in spite of the effect it has on our sex lives, not because of it.
So why? Why do we need to transition? Why would a man want to become a woman if it's not to get men?
The two key words in the last sentence are "want" and "become". We don't want to become women; we are women and need our bodies to reflect that fact.
You hear many transsexuals talking in terms of having a birth defect; they are women who were unfortunate enough to be born with the wrong genitalia. They do not consider themselves to have a psychological disorder. They have a physical affliction that can be corrected with hormones and surgery. Any psychological issues such as depression are a result of the incongruity between our true gender and our appearance. As Felicity Huffman's character Bree Osborne says to a psychologist in the film Transamerica, "Don't you find it odd that plastic surgery can cure a mental disorder?"
Still, we go along with this idea of Gender Dysphoria, or Gender Identity Disorder, because that is the umbrella under which treatment is available. Those are the rules of the game, so we play by the rules, whether we believe in them or not.
"Being transsexual is not about sex."
People hear this and are simply unable to understand how it can be so. If you want to change your sex, then it's about sex, right? Well, no.
(Note: this is written from the point of view of a male-to-female transsexual. I believe that the situation is similar for the female-to-male TS, but I can only speak from my own experience.)
A widespread though long-discredited theory states that transsexuals are gay men who want to be able to have sex with other men without the stigma of being gay. Looking at this closely, it's easy to see why it's wrong. Let's take it one step at a time.
First, even if it was true at one time (which it wasn't), today the stigma of being gay is much less than it was years ago. Gay people are now accepted by a large part of society; indeed, if popular culture is any sort of indicator, it's the hip thing to be! Transsexuality has a much greater stigma; while discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal in many areas, acceptance of discrimination on the basis of gender identity and expression is still widespread.
Second, there are probably just as many transsexual women who are attracted to women as there are those who are attracted to men. They want to be women, yet are only attracted to other women; by definition, this means that they want to transition from being straight men to being lesbian women! Doesn't sound like they're trying to avoid any stigma. Or trying to attract men!
Third, if the point of transsexuality is sex, does it make any sense to put yourself in a position which inherently limits the number of potential partners?. Gay men for the most part have no interest in transsexual women; they like men! And most lesbian women aren't interested in transsexuals either. Most straight men are uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with a woman who used to be a man (tranny chasers notwithstanding), and straight women are not generally interested in someone with a vagina, or a penis rendered largely ineffective by hormones.
Obviously the need to transition is stronger than considerations of sex; we transition in spite of the effect it has on our sex lives, not because of it.
So why? Why do we need to transition? Why would a man want to become a woman if it's not to get men?
The two key words in the last sentence are "want" and "become". We don't want to become women; we are women and need our bodies to reflect that fact.
You hear many transsexuals talking in terms of having a birth defect; they are women who were unfortunate enough to be born with the wrong genitalia. They do not consider themselves to have a psychological disorder. They have a physical affliction that can be corrected with hormones and surgery. Any psychological issues such as depression are a result of the incongruity between our true gender and our appearance. As Felicity Huffman's character Bree Osborne says to a psychologist in the film Transamerica, "Don't you find it odd that plastic surgery can cure a mental disorder?"
Still, we go along with this idea of Gender Dysphoria, or Gender Identity Disorder, because that is the umbrella under which treatment is available. Those are the rules of the game, so we play by the rules, whether we believe in them or not.
posted by Annie Social at 8:51 AM
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