"So, tell me about your childhood..."

Recently, I've heard a lot of people complaining about their therapists... how they put up unnecessary roadblocks, make the whole thing into some sort of competition, and just generally don't understand transgendered people.

I only have experience with one therapist, and after hearing all the horror stories, I feel I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

When it was time to find someone, I asked people in the area, made inquiries in some local Yahoo groups, and did numerous Google searches. One name came up over and over again; she had been working with TG patients for 20 years, founded the major support group in the area, knew just about everyone in the community, and her office was only a mile and a half from my home!

I called for an initial consultation, and when I asked about the fee, I was told that I was to pay what I could afford and thought it was worth. Amazed, I made the appointment.

From the first moment, I knew I had found the right person. It was clear that she understood what I was going through, and saw her job as helping me to understand it as well. We went through the things you would expect, such as history and attitudes and desires, but we also explored subjects like how to deal with family and friends, and reasonable expectations for HRT. She gave me the names of friendly doctors in the area, and once I decided it was time and asked, she sent the letter.

I never felt that I had to somehow prove to her that I was TS; she took my word for my feelings, and even pointed out how certain problems in my past could have been related to my identity issues. On reflection, I usually found she was right.

Throughout, she has been more of a guide than a gatekeeper, answering questions, educating me on what to expect and what works and what doesn't, even critiquing makeup and wardrobe choices. She's been there when I've needed a shoulder to cry on, and when I've wanted to brag.

Since starting HRT, my sessions with her are less frequent, and I sometimes find myself wishing they weren't!

That's what a therapist should be.