Nickie

Well, once again I've gone way too long without making an entry here. There is all sorts of news to report, but I'm going to leave most of it for another time because there is one event in my life that eclipses everything else.

When I began transition, I had no idea where I would end up physically, sexually or emotionally. I only knew what I had to do, and that wherever I landed would be a better place than that in which I had spent my life up to that time.

Physically, I have gone through changes that have amazed me. They came much faster and have been much more pronounced than I ever expected, and I am quite happy with the results so far.

Sexually, I went through changes just as dramatic, discovering things about myself I never expected. It's come to the point where "orientation" is meaningless, as attraction now depends entirely on the individual.

Emotionally I thought I had achieved a state of contentment; I was generally happy with my life, despite the fact that I was pretty sure that I would spend most of it alone. That was okay; I had spent most of my life that way, and had learned how to deal with it. I knew that any relationships I had would be temporary ones; the odds of my meeting someone who would want to be with me publicly, meeting the family, hanging out with friends, were slim and none.

And then the most amazing thing happened: I met Nickie.

Neither of us was looking for someone; we just became friends, talking on the phone and via email, and occasionally going out to lunch or something. But slowly, something was beginning to happen.

I was surprised right from the beginning to find that I was intensely attracted to her, but didn't think that anything would come of it. At most, it would be a casual sort of a thing, getting together when we could, and when nothing else was going on. But things began to change. We enjoyed every moment together, and talked about things I never expected to talk about with anyone. The fact that we are both TS just made the relationship stronger, giving each of us an understanding of the other that it's doubtful anyone else could have. Before either of us fully realized what was going on, the L-word was being used, at first tentatively, then with more and more confidence and conviction.

Now we spend every available moment together, and we both seem to want the same thing: to spend the rest of our lives together.

I continue to be the luckiest woman alive.